Let Everything Sexy Be I Am Naked

Noelle Messier posing nude in Vanessa Beecroft Exhibit, Gagosian Gallery

​I am alive.  I am alone.  I am one. I am many.  I am freedom.  I am powerful. I am awkward.  I am self-conscious. I am androgynous.  I am art.  I am sexy.  I am naked.

These are a few of the thoughts I experienced several years ago posing nude in an art exhibit at the Gagosian gallery in Beverly Hills for Italian artist, Vanessa Beecroft.  Beecroft is famous for her live art installations of groups of women, often nude, viewed as you would a sculpture or picture. As scary as it was, that exhibit was one of the most empowering and life changing events I’ve ever experienced.  Right up there with coming out as a lesbian.  Both experiences forced me to come out of hiding and embrace my true self.  Now I am being faced with a new challenge. Exposing myself on a reality show.

Hellbent For Hollywood is the name of the acting competition reality show I have sold my soul to. The word “hell” conjures up images of reciting Shakespeare while dancing over hot coals or receiving electric shock treatments for forgetting lines.  The producers assure me this is not the case.  But since when do they tell the truth on a reality show?  I keep telling myself it will be one of those empowering and life changing events.

Noelle Messier with Hellbent For Hollywood Top Ten

Hellbent For Hollywood Reality Show

Being an introspective actor, I have battled with the concept of how best to get exposure.  What is my image?  My brand?  What is marketable?  I am an androgynous, shorthaired, pants wearing, low-voiced lesbian.  For years I was in denial and dated men, grew my hair out, raised my voice, and tried to become more feminine in an attempt to be what “they” wanted.  As a result, I wasted lots of time getting in and out of the closet and getting in and out of acting.  It took me a while to figure out that I would never be successful without first embracing who I am.  My agent has finally figured out that I get called in to audition when the post reads: androgynous, butch, lesbian, or cop; and I love it.  I did a small role recently on the ABC Family show, 10 Things I Hate About You and created quite an uproar on Facebook when I posted,  “nothing like having “butch lesbian” taped to your trailer.”  The angry, pitchfork carrying, Facebook throng thought someone had scrawled the obscenity across my door like a Nazi swastika.  “Butch Lesbian” was the name of the character and I was proud to be identified as such.  Maybe being all that you can be isn’t about being everything but about being who you are.

Being cast in Hellbent for Hollywood is forcing me to market myself and grovel for votes on the Internet, but more importantly, it is giving me a chance to put my money where my mouth is.  I am always the first one to say how important it is for the LGBT community to be out and visible in the media. The more we are out there, the more people will slowly begin to accept us as normal and not scary, closeted, hell bent sinners.  If we can’t accept who we are, how can we expect anyone else to?  So, I am planning on winning this show as an out lesbian actress come hell or high water or fire or brimstone or electric shocks or whatever.  Let Everything Sexy Be I Am Naked.  LESBIAN!

Noelle Messier in Hellbent for Hollywood Reality Show

LetEverythingSexyBeIAmNaked