DICHOTOMY: Cutting Into It

Coloring Outside the Lines: Sketching My Comic Book Life

7/15/2019

Noelle Messier

DONNA MANICOTTI DYKE DETECTIVE #1 Hollywood HOMOcide by Noelle Messier

I am an artist but I cannot draw. My television storyboards in college were all stick figures. So, why in the world would I decide to create a comic book?

Noelle Messier 4 yrs old, painted by her mom

Noelle Messier as Jane in Dichotomy

What I can do is draw from my history, life, and my imagination. My mom was a fine artist in the 1970’s. Her specialty was colorful, abstract watercolors and splatter paintings. They were beautiful, deep, and free explorations into the emotion that lies beneath mundane objects, landscapes, or not so still, life. Throw it all up against the wall and see what sticks. That part I inherited. Actor, video producer, voice artist, screenwriter, comic book writer/ producer. Eventually something will stick.

My dad loves puns and witty, British humor, so you combine that with my mom’s freedom of expression and my love for old 1940’s and 1950’s film noir movies, my butch identity, and my endless sexual frustration, and DONNA MANICOTTI (dyke) DETECTIVE was born. An inevitable birth conceived by my pregnant imagination.

Through her sexually suggestive words and film noir style monologues, Donna Manicotti, a hard-wired, charismatic, lesbian detective takes the audience on an immersive and humorous journey, awakening imagination and erotic desire. It is a sweet and savory, satirical, mystery romp. The sensuality is palpable, visceral, and salacious. It flows through the lilting saxophone and saturates the color, light, and shadows in every shot. This modern day yet timeless City of Angels can be heard, viewed, tasted, and touched.

DONNA MANICOTTI DYKE DETECTIVE #1 Hollywood HOMOcide Front Cover

“My loneliness hung in the air like the thick moist fog clinging to my skin. It was raining cats and dogs and my pussy was wet.”

DONNA MANICOTTI (dyke) DETECTIVE lives in the space between attraction and orgasm…a tease for the senses… For the record, this is not porn. The images in the comic book are suggestive, not explicit. The humor and sexual tension come out of the wit and word play. Most of the suggestive dialogue has two to three different meanings, stimulating different parts of your brain simultaneously. The example above could be as clean as a wet cat. Your imagination does the rest. This is written for a mature audience but I was a bit shocked when a comic book artist sent me some nude, explicit drawings. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, it’s just not what I am going for here.

When I was a kid I wanted to be the hero of those noir films. I wanted to be that strong, charismatic detective that could paint words with his mind and seduce a beautiful woman at the same time. This character of course was always a man, hence my life long conundrum and endlessly annoying blogs about my gender identity and sexuality.

This detective character was also always a loner. I have always been very independent and not so good at maintaining romantic relationships. Perhaps to hide my own insecurities, I created my own unapologetic, tough, lesbian (dyke), detective character, Donna Manicotti. I wear her like my leather jacket, a tough armor of metal snaps and zippers to protect my own tender, sensitive soul. We both search for love and truth in a sometimes cruel and lonely world.

In the steamy, first issue of DONNA MANICOTTI (dyke) DETECTIVE, Hollywood HOMOcide, Donna investigates the murder of Hollywood producer, Jerry Sparks, beat to death with his own Oscar Statue. The prime suspect is Coma Lee Sparks, “the widow from the Valley who is hotter than Northridge with more curves than Mulholland Drive.” Donna attempts to get Coma off in more ways than one.

The difference between writing a film or television script and writing a comic book is that in tv and film you leave room for the rest of the crew to fill in the gaps. In a comic book you have to be the producer, director, cinematographer, casting director, actor, costumer, location scout, editor, and most importantly, continuity person.

I had to box my 3D visual mind into 2D comic panel rectangles. I had to decide what went where, what the characters looked like, what they were wearing, what the background looked like, and how many panels it would take for them to walk across a room.

The entertainment business can be like an impenetrable, greasy, border wall. You tenaciously climb up, only to slide pathetically back down again. Very few are given the key to unlock the door.

Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do. The same thing that keeps me in my cage is the same thing that allows me to escape. The stories and characters free me from the chains that tether me to my keyboard, auditions, and endless rejection. The humor, drama, and fantasy take me away and yet bring me back to life.

Fortunately for me, comic book folk are surprisingly helpful and accessible as compared to Hollywood gatekeepers. A few casual connections and a couple of Facebook group posts and I was able to find a talented artist within my budget. One of the reasons, I decided to do a comic book was that it is cheaper to produce than a quality television pilot would be to showcase this colorful, humorous, yet shadowy world.

I love structure, but at the same time, I hate to be restricted by it. Kind of the same way I feel about society. I naturally follow rules yet my creative soul always yearns to color outside the lines. I still struggle with it every day. Donna Manicotti forced me to confront my own reflection and I am literally a character in my own story.

I originally pitched DONNA MANICOTTI (dyke) DETECTIVE as an animated television pilot. The network thought animation was too expensive so I wrote it as live action. When the script was later optioned, I had to accept the fact that I would never play the title character. The producers wanted to attach a hot, feminine, straight looking, name actress. I was also asked to add a young, straight, male side-kick character to the script. I did. But after the option expired, I replaced him with a geeky, lesbian, tech expert that makes weapons / sex toys and just happens to resemble one of my best friends.

With a comic book I had the opportunity to create Donna Manicotti in my image. Not that I have a god complex or anything but I did want to make a statement. Now, yes, there exists hot, feminine, straight looking, whatever that means, lesbians, and I am generally attracted to them, but that is beside the point.

DONNA MANICOTTI DYKE DETECTIVE Logo Art

What about those masculine leaning lesbians that don’t want to be men or gender non-binary? All human beings should be free to be who they are. The entire LGBTQ diaspora needs more representation in the media to be more accepted in society.

Why can’t we have a salt and pepper, shaved headed, butch lesbian play a sexy, detective, leading role? Why is that so hard for producers and casting directors to imagine?

Donna’s nemesis is Santa Monica, a mysterious Beverly Hills prescription drug dealer, a slippery, sophisticated, sexy, and deliciously evil adversary with a throaty laugh that keeps turning up like a, “persistent, vaginal itch.”

My nemesis is my doubt and insecurity. It was hard enough for me to embrace my own gray hair. Will the world accept a butch, dyke (and yes, I use that word on purpose) Donna Manicotti? Will they accept me for who I am? Does it even matter? Will Donna find love again? Will I? The journey continues… Entertainment is art. Love is art. Life is art. And art is my life.

The three-act structure in writing allows me to let go of the need to control the words. In acting, the structure, or my base, my core of centered calmness, allows me to freely channel the words, feelings, and emotions that create my characters and performances. Without that center there is no control. Without the lines, there is nothing to color outside of. I don’t know what will happen with this comic book but the process alone has been worthwhile. I am so grateful to have the opportunity to play in this beautiful life.